Dip-SHIT, Dip-SHIT, Dip-SHIT, Dip-SHIT!

Yo, when was the last time you were sitting around with the homies arguing over who are the best or even your favorite rappers; your top 5, top 10, top 20 or even top 100? At any point did ONE of the Dipset yappers come up? Jimmy? Juelz? Hell Rell? Duke? Freekey? 40 Cal? JR Writer? Shit, the last two or three, most of y’all never even heard of. I had to look them up to see who all was in the crew. What about former members? Cam’Ron? Max B? Be for real... These dudes are really not good. They are subpar at best as rappers and probably should stick to the streets where they have more credibility... Or do they? I have never heard so much filler music in my life. I have never heard so much anti-content in my life. I have never pressed FF so much in my life. I have never been as disappointed in the LOX as I was when they did the "Dipset/D-Block" joint... I mean, I even prefer “If You Think I’m Jiggy” over Jimmy’s guttural moanings on an otherwise bangin ass beat. All right, I’ll let Hell Rell slide for two reasons: 1. I actually don’t MIND him and 2. we chopped it up last year and he’s real cool people. That means more than his spit so I’m excluding him from the rest of the berating.



So, WTF is a Dipset Christmas? Seriously? I mean, didn’t you learn from Snoop Dogg? Has there been a good Christmas rap song since “Christmas in Hollis”? The answer is no. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. Did anyone really buy a Dipset Christmas cd? If so, you should stop reading this, get up from your broken down ass Dell piece of shit computer, walk into traffic and lie down. I’m sure Jimmy will stop and save you. Stallllliiiiiin’...

Jim Jones... At first, I was gonna go in on his name but then after some Wikipedia searching, I realized that it’s actually a good fit. Jim Jones, Sr. was responsible for leading over 900 to their deaths via mass suicide. Jim Jones, Jr. is responsible for making millions want to kill themselves for being tortured with “Ballin’” ringtones, radio play and that stupid ass dance. So, point for junior! Good name selection. This dude is simply boring though. That’s why VH1 didn’t move forward with the reality show. It could have all been summed up in one episode, similar to how all of his singles, albums and lyrics can be summed up in one song. It’s the same shit over and over again to different beats. I can already see the VH1 executives sitting in a board room, screening the pilot. “Who is this again?” “This is that Ballin’ guy.” “Oh yeah, I like that song. I bought that ringtone for my 5-year old. It came with a bunch of free coasters too!” “No, those were Jim’s cd’s.” “Ohhhhh. Well, I like his belt buckle. I have the same one.” Dude is not interesting, he takes shots at rappers who would crush him lyrically and they booted Cam from his own group. Cam was the most entertaining one! In summary, what’s the difference between Jimmy and Soulja Boy? The answer? Hometowns. Dame Dash can’t save you. And what’s up with the plays?? I’m sure even Diddy is like, “I run this city... And this playhouse too.”



Oh and then there’s Juelz. I want so much to like him but simply cannot. After I stole his album from the internet and tried to stomach 20 or so songs of his lack-of-attention yelping (AY! Look at me! Look at me! AY! AY!), I realized that even with a Rakim video cameo, there will be no seal of approval from me. The bandana thing is funny to look at, their whole style of clothes they stole from black skateboarders and white boys they don't respect otherwise, and the music is like lullabies. Chicks dig him, so he has that working for him, but outside of that, ehhhhhhhhh. I think his career is f’d in the a... No homo.



As for the rest, I have one question for you... WHO ARE YOU? And an even better one: WHO CARES? The answer? Nobody. I get 40 Cal confused with 40 Glocc (a whole OTHER story altogether) and I get JR Writer confused with... Actually, I don’t. There is no confusion. He’s just another rapper with nothing new to say. I’m having a hard time finishing this article because it’s boring writing about them.

And with that said, please be more selective with what you listen to. I’m not saying that Dipshit isn’t hip hop. I am simply saying that for every Rakim, there were a thousand Greyson and Jason’s... “WHO?” My point, exactly.

And before you comment, know that I don’t care. It’s my blog. Get your own.

Kiss my whole ass,
Montana.

PS -

“Pop Champagne”? Really? Seriously? Aaaaaaargh!